Something I Have To Say…

Stacy, I know that things have not gone the way we had planned. And that I have caused most of the trials that life has thrown your way. For whatever reason, my choices in life brought me to a point where I no longer wanted or valued my life, and, as you know, it almost ended. But things have changed, and our lives are growing in a whole new direction that finally feels right, feels good, and feels safe. I was rescued, not by any earthly person or deed, but by God. Sure, you and others did things that did save my life, but it was God that guided all of you; it was God that rescued me. I want to thank you for all you have done and for remaining by my side in spite of my misgivings. I know I have hurt you far more than I could ever know, but I want you to know that, even though I nearly ruined our lives and that of our children, you have remained the only earthly love in my life. You are the only person who has touched my heart. You are the only person I have given myself to. You are the only one I have desired: the only person I will ever desire; the only person I will ever be with. But I have to confess, there is a new love in my life; a love that is above all else. I just want you to understand that this new love is more than everything to me. I don’t want you to think you are taking second place. This new love has allowed me to love you more than I ever thought possible. It has allowed me to take my self out of the picture and give myself to you and our children more completely than ever before. But, none the less, this new love is stronger and more powerful than any love that could ever exist between us; between anyone. I once thought that anyone who loved God more than their wife was not the best spouse, I’ve come to know that loving God more than anything allows me to be a better husband than I ever was and allows me to love you more infinitely than ever before. So I am asking your forgiveness… Not to forgive me for loving God above all else, but for not doing it in the first place. And all I ask from you is the same. I want your love for me to be based on your unwavering, permanent, and pure love of Christ. Without Him, it would have ended.

I wanted to tell you something I told you a long time ago, on a very special day, the day this journey began: I promise to live it this time…

I promise to give you all of me; that I am, and that I become.
I promise to do my best by you, and to live our lives as one.
I give to you my solemn vow; to be faithful, and to be true.
Because all that I will ever want, is to live my life with you.